Andromeda Strain 2008: a Review

So wrong in so many ways.

I suppose they felt they had to change it and update it (everything has to be secret government conspiracies now, instead of the novel and first movie, where a lot of things just went wrong because of inevitable human failings and mechanical failures).

Part of the problem as Entertainment Weekly pointed out, was that it was boring: "You know something's wrong when Bratt, after years of smooth cop talk on Law & Order, looks bored mid-paragraph."

The one sexy part, somewhat played up in the book, was when one woman, Ben Bratt and Rick Schroeder all had to go through decon. Even this was disappointing! We get to see a flash of her breast but do we get to see any hot Ben/Rick butt? No. (On a completely unrelated note, the walk along the bike path today was particularly nice: an endless parade of cute guy butts in bike shorts whizzing by).

But I digress.

The one doctor's (played by a woman in the first movie, then by hottie Daniel Dae Kim here) epilepsy was rendered pointless. In the book and first movie, the lab computer discovered something important and flashed a red light. The doctor, working late and alone, went into a petit mal seizure and blanked out, missing the warning. Also in the first movie, when she went into a major seizure at the end, people thought it was Andromeda and it caused a panic.

One interesting, but again pointless twist was that the Odd-man Hypothesis 'single man,' Rick Schroeder's character, was gay. It had no real meaning in the plot. It would have been a bit interesting if it was revealed that he was not in fact single but had a partner, thus cancelling out the purpose of him as the odd-man.

I'm not even going to go into the whole intelligent virus sent back through time through a wormhole crap. Or the drug-addicted reporter plot (also not in the book or first movie), or the crappy special effects of the red stain going over everything them miraculously eaten in seconds by the bacteria.

Finally though there was the silly ending in the shaft with the open radioactive pit at the bottom. The book and first movie were much more reasonable: the central core was filled with computer-controlled lasers, designed to shoot down any animals that might enter the shaft and try to climb up. Since the largest lab animals were small monkeys, the lasers were only powerful enough to stop them; a human could take several hits before being incapacitated. Instead we had them climbing around in this shaft with glowing water at the bottom, while bit of junk fell on them from above (I assume this was supposed to be materials disintegrating from above as Andromeda ate through the facility, but I just kept imagining stagehands up above dropping crap on the actors).

Overall a waste of time. I'm gonna go finish watching the first movie, which I have on VCR!

Phoenix!

The
Phoenix Phoenix landed safely on Mars!

Idol wrapup

So my Archedorable didn't win. Maybe it's for the best: the evil, controlling music people will wait till the kid turns 18 and get him free of his evil, controlling stage dad.

I was glad to see the Alleged Lapdancer again (I swear that yesterday Moraes' blog referred to the third David as 'Allegedly Gay Stripper' ah the magic of the internet 'take-back'!), and I have to admit I enjoy those cheestastic group numbers. Donna Summer looked like hell (and did she need to be helped down the stairs?) but the Davids duet was cute.

Oh and all the shameless promotion was nauseating... though it looked like there were some cute Asian guys on So You Think You Can Dance.... Must. Not. watch...

Waste

Especially with fuel prices where they are, I was annoyed to walk by an office building yesterday and see a maintenance worker with his noisy, gas-powered leaf-blower clearing off the few bits of leaf and trash on the sidewalk. Of course this stuff is blown into the gutter, where it goes into the storm drain system and eventually into the Chesapeake Bay, which has enough trouble already. Would it be so much more effort to use a broom and one of those little scoop things? I realize this is probably some poor guy making minimum wage, but still.

Just as aggravating are the guys who hose down the sidewalk in front of the building every day. What a huge waste of water. There are starving children in Burma and China who don't have clean water! I realize some of these places have sidewalk restaurants, but most of them are just office buildings, and a nice rain once in awhile should be plenty of a wash-off.

Andromeda Update

I read the Wiki synopsis (it has spoilers) and apparently there are changes from the novel to this movie. Also, there is a website called What Happened In Piedmont attempting to do a little viral promotion for the movie.

Weekend in Science & Science Fiction

First, on Sunday evening around 7:50 EDT, NASA and JPL hope to repeat their incredible success with the twin Rovers land the Phoenix on Mars, near the pole.


Then, on Memorial Day, A&E will premiere a new version of the classic Michael Crichton novel The Andromeda Strain Memorial Day at 9:00 PM. I hope it is true to the book (as was the original 70's movie, which I very much enjoyed). From the online preview it does look like it follows the book. And--bonus! --Daniel Dae Kim is one of the starring scientists!

Idol-adorable

Okay, I've tried to call the Archedorable's three numbers several times for the last half hour and it's busy. I guess that's a good sign for him. I hope he gets a good lawyer so the evil stage dad gets none of his money!

Seriously (okay the above was serious too: I worry about the kid, he is way too naive), his Elton John song, Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me, had me tearing up. Clive made an excellent choice. Song two was a great performance. Song three was kind of going through the motions but by then all he had to do was not screw up. I feel a little bad for Cook, who did well and took some chances, but I think (hope) Archuleta had it in the bag after the really moving performance of the Elton song (and I wonder if evil dad disapproved of singing a song written by a gay? Them being Mormon and all. And did Clive partly do that on purpose? That would be delicious!)

Ok, back to dialing. I'll report on lunch with the (humblingly mature and cool) nephew tomorrow.

Family

My mother wants my sister and me to come up and see her to 'make arrangements.' It seems kind of morbid but I guess she's just being practical; though she's in good health, she is getting up there. And of course she's trying to do a little arm-twisting to get us to actually visit her. My sister is being (understandably) reticent, so I guess I'm on my own. Maybe in the fall when it's not so hot--my mother does not have A/C, and the Pittsburgh area can get almost as unbearable as DC in the summer.

Meanwhile, I joined facebook a week or so ago, and guess who I found: a nephew (well, half-nephew, son of an older half brother) who just graduated from college (Architecture!) and just happens to be visiting a friend in DC right now. He's interested in meeting. I'd kind of like to, but it would be a little weird... I haven't even spoken to his father in like 20 years, not because we 'aren't speaking' but because we were never close. I have 2 half-brothers from my father's first marriage and another, younger one from his third. The older ones especially we rarely saw except when we had a visit that coincided. Ah, well.

What a week

Though it didn't seem that long, it was a bumpy week. I got the stomach thing on Wednesday and stayed home. Then Thursday was major catch-up, on top of teaching the 6:30 am spin class and then CPR class Thursday night. Though CPR wasn't bad, only 3 hours and they don't even test you any more! Bizarre!

What? Monday Again!

Well, what happened to the week, and the weekend? Oh well, here wee go again. I did get a nice massage yesterday (I love when they massage your scalp and face, feels so relaxing!). I'm still struggling to get this book done though; I swear I have ADD; I get too easily distracted.

New Moon on Monday

Remember this Duran Duran classic?

TGIF

It's been a bumpy week, and it's not over yet. Oh and George W., where the hell is my rebate check? I got direct deposit!

I almost hate to say it (just out of some misguided loyalty), but Hillary needs to pack it in. The gas-tax suspension is a stupid idea, and only Barack is brave enough to not go along, and to point out that it is just a gimmick, and probably wouldn't do any good anyway. The Dems just need to unite behind him and move on.

Oh, and why didn't the geniuses realize what a disaster corn ethanol would turn out to be? Now everyone is chanting "We're sacrificing food for fuel! That's bad!" Duh. One more thing to be grateful for: I have easy access to mass transit, and if I need to, I can walk to work in 45 minutes. I fill up the tank of my car about once every 60 days, if that. I use it to get groceries and drive to 2 of my spin classes.