More on meds

Was really jittery on Monday, my knees were bouncing up and down uncontrollably. Went to 5mg yesterday and doing better. Not too pleased about another side effect though.

The big kiss on Glee last night was cute, though the setup for it seemed so silly. I suppose it's not fair to compare them to Riley and Zane on Degrassi because that show is an actual, somewhat realistic, drama (and made in much more open-minded Canada), while Glee makes no pretense at being realistic. Still, for FOX, that was a pretty good gay kiss.

Meds

Had some food, feeling a bit less ready to punch something aka Riley. (Yes I did have an anger stage and I put my fist through a wall once, many years ago.) I am just glad Riley controlled his anger and never took it out on the most perfect boyfriend ever, Zane

Out of Sorts

Back from the gym, first Saturday in months. I feel like crap. I am hating the meds right now. I am hoping the lexapro side effects will settle down; I don't remember it affecting me this way before. Next week I'm going to Yoga like Riley; maybe it will help me because at the moment I'm having anger issues too.

A New start?

Went to a new Dr today (well technically, yesterday, Friday). Finally a gay therapist, and psychiatrist, and he seems really cool. He even knows my regular Dr. and he knows about DC Frontrunners. Somewhat ironically, I got referred to him by Randy (still not sure if their relationship is social or professional). He's not cheap but the insurance is paying most of it for now. I was sort of surprised how much I just spilled everything right in the first session. I was also surprised what seemed to get a reaction from him and what didn't. He was very supportive of me not wanting to deal with a certain organization that talked about a 'higher power' but was really talking about 'god' and was always about prayer. "You're not the only one who has a problem with that'. He didn't seem bothered at all about my Zane/Riley Degrassi obsession, though I got the feeling there would be a lot more talk about it. He seemed surprisingly not that interested in my guilt about John; has he already figured it's partly just some kind of transference from something much older? Looking back, I even surprised myself how much I talked, compared to sessions with other therapists years ago. I don't know if it's cause I am older and have done it for years, or eager for a fresh start, or finally a gay therapist I feel comfortable with (He's in the HRC building!) or some combination, but I feel good about this.

Degrassi: Riley and Zane

OMG my Riley/Zane thing is out of control. I had a dream last night that I was Riley, and in college with Zane, but I'd been hit on the head and had partial amnesia, and had done something horrible to Zane and spent most of the dream trying to get him to forgive me and believe I had amnesia. Talk about a twisted plotline.