10 mins into Survivor

Yul is actually really cute too, and very well-spoken. And damn look at that body.

Okay, halfway through now, and I have to admit I got a little choked up when the Asians won the challenge. They were really working together there at the end. Brad really is beautiful; he's mixed-race asian, Filipino and Hawaiian or something. Pretty obviously gay too, but not in a flaming way.

Ohgodohgodohgod

(SPOILER ALERT)

Blade! The evil hottie vampire (Marcus) is making undercover 'good vampire' Krista torture poor Shen! God I can't watch!!!

When they captured him they thought Blade was dead, and the evil blonde vamp bitch says to Shen "Your boyfriend is dead, so you'll have to do!"

Now Shen is about to escape (Krista slipped him a scalpel after trearing half his fingernails off, *shudder*) and outside the room the vampire bodyguard is saying "Blade's dead, and we got the little bitch of his." Could this get any more suggestive?

I was hoping for a tiny show of affection when Blade comes to get Shen but he puts a gun to his head and says "Are you turned?"

Blade does say "I thought you were dead."

TSA: Permitted and Prohibited Items

Such a fascinating list.

Knitting needles and pointy scissors are allowed. Mouthwash is not.

Fortunately eye drops and 'personal lubricants' up to 4 oz are also allowed! Fun!

Caffeinated

I'm on my 4th cup of strong coffee today, and should probably lay off for a bit. Had a pretty productive writing morning, with laundry, lunch and a couple quick errands to break it up--though I ran over some kind of iron cap in the road that is normally covering one of those little utility holes in the street but was instead flipped over with the kind of jaggy-looking underside sticking up; I was pissed about that and worried about damaging my tires. I might have swerved to avoid it, but it was raining out and the roads were slick.

Classes went okay this morning, pretty good group for abs. I'm hoping to have a big crowd again for tonight's class! This afternoon I hope to get some more writing done, then it's cleaning time. I need to get the kitchen and bathroom floors, and get all the junk in the second bedroom/office put away.

On a completely unrelated note, Arlington Comcast has done this weird thing with the channel lineup, moving the Sci-fi Channel from 62 to 51 (which was the Style Channel) and now 62 is some stupid sports channel. I went to the website, and supposedly 'Extended Basic' doesn't even get Sci-fi anymore (I get Digital HD, but I actually watch most of my TV on the small analog one in my bedroom; they are still sending out the analog signal as well). They monkey with minor channel changes from time to time, but TiVo usually picks up on it right away. So far they haven't. It's just a minor annoyance since I don't watch anything on Sci-fi anymore but the Stargates on Friday night, so I need to manually set the TiVo if it isn't corrected by then.

Oh and semi-related to that... I was telling S. (see date on Sunday) about my TiVo sound drop-out woes and he said "Oh I know what you mean, I've seen it too. I think that's actually crappy Comcast, not your TiVo." Well, that would sure explain a lot. So maybe I didn't need a new HD after all. Oh well, the new one is like 3x bigger than the old one so it's not a total waste. Glad I didn't buy a new TiVo.

On another unrelated note... it's 65°F outside, and has been all day. Whay does my A/C keep coming on to keep the temperature in here at 72°F? Do I and my electronics generate all that much heat?

Survivor

I'll watch as long as he's on.

Joseph-TV.com

Joseph has brought back The Mischievious Boys Videos! Including the one with Tommy in the bathtub! (insert girlish giggle here).

Oh on, not Shen!

Tomorrow night is the season finale of Blade. The last few episodes Shen has looked hotter and hotter. He's always in a tight wifebeater these days, showing off his pecs and great arms. And he's got a Mac G5 Tower and cinema display too! Shen's relationship with Blade has been slowly unfolding too, beyond the gay jokes and them engaging in other gentle mutual ribbing.

Before they showed the preview of the season finale last week, I was wondering what they would do for a big cliffhanger. Would the Vampires capture Shen, the one person that Blade seems to actually care about? Nah, that's way too Batman & Robin I thought.

Then they showed the preview. There was Shen, in his wifebeater, tied to a chair while the evil blonde female vampire was standing over him, taking out little tastes of his blood.

If they kill Shen, I'm not watchiing any more!

Tomorrow is a Rest Day II

Ugh, another long day, though nothing actually went wrong. I was sent off to a client to rebuild a guy's wrecked hard drive, so I spent all day reinstalling software, which means spending time on the phone with people like Adobe to get new validation codes...

Anyway, the joke of Tomorrow is a Rest Day (and actually I had the title wrong; the actual title of the episode is Thank god it's Friday... again which is even funnier in context) is that the bad of refugees of Farscape (including the delicious Ben Browder) visit this planet full of tanned, white haired people who slave in farms all day and party half the night. A few of the members of the group eat the food and become trippy-happy drugged like the others... every night the loudspeakers tell the workers what a good job they did and "Tomorrow is a rest day!" But they wake up the next day and don't remember what they were told and go back to slaving in the hot farms. And that night they are told... "Tomorrow is a rest day!"

'Tomorrow is a Rest Day'

That title above is actually the title of a Farscape episode; if you don't know the reference, the irony will of course be lost on you. I'f I'm bored later I'll explain it, though it looks like a busy day here at Mac Genius land.

Yesterday after spin class I called S. like we agreed, and met him at Dupont Circle, aka gay central. And yes, it still definitely is gay central, despite rumors of its demise at the pocketbooks of rich dual-income straight people who all thought Dupont was hip and trendy (well yes, it is) and bought up property there.

Anyway, we hung out at the Circle awhile and watched the boys go by holding hands; it was kind of cute. It's been a long time since I hung out in gayville.

Then we got some lunch and walked up to Meridian Hill Park, talked about Stargate and Charmed (we're both big fans, it turns out), then back to the Circle. So it was a nice if uneventful afternoon. I headed home around 6, watched some tv, went to bed early.

I miss the Mischievious Boys

Yeah they were just a fad, some silly lipsynching Asian guys from Sacramento of all places.

And it turned out that Joey (bald one on the left) was a minor porn star, but the other three all seem like nice guys (okay, so there's nothing really wrong with being a porn star, bu you know what I mean...). Tommy (the cute Vietnamese, next over, was a student, and David, the next one with the amazing pecs, is a schoolteacher (I exchanged emails with him and he is a really sweet guy) and Edward is a shy personal trainer (hey I am a shy spin instructor). They have all moved on but I still love watching these videos. I should try to get in touch with David and see how he is doing, he was facing that delicate situation of being not closeted but not hiding his orientation at work, which I think is very courageous. He said many of his students and fellow teachers (he teaches high school) know about his sexuality. I think we need more happy, well adjusted gay teachers to show that we are everywhere and just regular people.

A better day

The day is over, and as far as I know, nothing went horribly wrong. I am coming to understand what my new boss said in the interview about this job being 'a different kind of pressure.' I like all things Mac, and I love learning about them and all the stuff available for them, and sure I do enjoy problem-solving, but when you are at some client site and they are breathing down your neck wanting you to solve their mysterious crashing problem right now, it gets a little sketchy.

I was at the Apple Store yesterday to take in an iMac (for the second time) because it kept shutting down, and I idly asked Chris, one of the Mac Geniuses, who I had met on my previous visit (they are all so young! Sickening) when the new 24" iMac would be out (it premiered on the Apple web site that morning). He kind of rolled his eyes and said "That's a good question. Actually, I have been so busy today that I haven't even had a chance to go to the website and see the 24" iMac." Eeek, and at one point I had wanted ot be a Mac Genius. The Clarendon store always seems swamped.

But I digress. So as far as I know, things are ok with the clients, but over the last few weeks I have had several crises. None that I know of were my fault, but there were a couple of instances where I probably could have recovered better. Part of me feels like this is a learning period; I've only been on this job a little over a month, working 3 days a week, and just recently starting to go to clients, but I feel like the boss--and to some extent the other guys--are treating this like a sink-or-swim scenario. Already on several occasions I've provided information from my experience that they didn't know, so I feel like I deserve a little respect. Sure I ask them about things, but I think that's normal in any new job. And this is a big change for me; I was basically doing my previous job for almost ten years. Okay, I sound like I'm whining I'm sure, but several times over the last few weeks I've just felt overwhelmed. Navigating the maze of DC traffic, meeting and being nice to all these clients, problem-solving under pressure... a little voice has said "Bag it! It's not worth it! Quit and go with plan B!" But plan B is still in the planning stages. I might still go there in a few months. God I hate the driving.

On a happier note, another great Spin class! Almost full, several people came up afterwards to compliment me! I used the Sexyback mix again.

Goodbye again Dr. Jackson

Okay, but even I wasn't that broken up. It's gotten so derivative lately, and increasingly away from the Stargate to other stuff. And they just shamelessly rip off old Star Trek plots and terminology ('beaming', 'subspace') and the ships look too much like Galactica, and... well. Crichton/Aeryn Sun and Mitchell/Vala, much as I like them, was the final shark-jumping maneuver.

Beds

Anyone have any experience with the Sleep Number Bed?

My box spring is starting to creak more and more in a most annoying manner, and I think I actually got a too-firm mattress. R's sleep-number is nice. I'm always wary of products sold with infomercials (even though I want to trust the Bionic Woman).

Horrible Dreams

As regular Synaptic Discharge readers probably know, I don't usually sleep well on Wednesday nights, because I have to get up at 5 to go teach my 6:30 am spin class. The last few weeks haven't been as bad for some reason (only waking up a few times), but last night was a doozy. Perhaps because my schedule this morning was:

• get up (dress, have breakfast).
• load 2 iMac G5's, my laptop, an external HD, my gym bag, and my work clothes in my car.
• go to class, leaving my car parked on a street in Georgetown in the predawn darkness, loaded with about $6000.00 in hardware, not to mention the value of the clients software and files.
• Teach spin and abs.
• Go directly from the gym to the first client, fix her internet connection and some other stuff, drop off a new computer.
• Go to another client, drop off her computer (hopefully finally fixed at the Apple Store).
• Drive to the office.

So. I was really stressed about leaving all that stuff in my car during class, but my boss had agreed with the client that I meet her at her place before she left for work, so I didn't have time to go back home and get the equipment. Then I was stressed about getting her internet connection to work on her old OS 9 Mac (long story), getting done with her, the other Mac delivered, then to the office for a briefing on tomorrow's job, then back home to teach my 6:30 PM class... You get the idea. So I had some crazy nighmares.

1. Not surprisingly, I had a dream that my car was stolen from a parking garage. I don't know if you've ever come back to get your car that you left in a garage, and you were sure it was stolen, because it was gone from where you were sure it was parked... then you find out you're on the wrong floor or something. My sister might remember that one time after Van Halen... Anyway, that was basically just running around in a big garage ever more desperately looking for my car.

Then things got weird with TK's REM synaptic discharging...

2. I was on a sofa somewhere in a living room (in some ways it resembled the old house at 118 Stratford Court in Charlottesville, but nicer--some readers will remember that!). R. was sitting next to me, and I had my arm around him. Also on the sofa was another Asian guy... and at some points during the dream he was also R. He was not happy that I had my arm around R., and we were kind of snuggling. After a lot of discussion and argument (at times he was arguing with himself! He stormed out of the room, saying that it was disgusting that we were showing affection 'in public.'

3. Then things got different weird; I blame that episode of Xiaolin Showdown I watched before bed). R. and I were in this place that looked like a stereotypical Chinese palace/temple complex, with the roofs, large round doorways, the works. It was night, and the temple was under attack. R. and I were wearing karate outfits and defending against this horde: martial arts, fireball spells, katana, you name it. R. sort of became a cross between himself and Omi. God knows who I was supposed to be. That dream was almost fun in a way, except that as it went on, we became more and more overwhelmed, and it started to seem hopeless...

Oh and by the way, I'm at the office, everything went (seemingly) fine. So far.

Turn away from the TV...

I watched Katie Couric, and I was sorry. Then I read the review this morning about Rosie's premiere on The View. So, I TiVo'ed. It's good old non-crazy Rosie! And she runs rough-shod over the other three, including that old fossil Babwah. It's clear who's running the show now, and the first 15 minutes at least were very entertaining.

Of course if she pisses off the duchess too much, she could find herself out on her ample butt...

I won't argue with this:

Being an Atheist in America Isn't Easy

Not all that southern

Your Linguistic Profile:

40% General American English

20% Yankee

15% Dixie

15% Upper Midwestern

5% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

The entire 15% probably comes from "Y'all" which I now say all the time (better than the hideous 'y'uns' from Pittsburgh!)

Katie Couric:

Fashion disaster undead!

WTF? Sure I haven't watched the Today show in ages, so I'm not that up on what my fellow UVA alum looks like, but I've seen pictures. I admit I was curious to see how she did on her first CBS Evening News appearance.

What the F&@k!? First they put her in this white jacket that looks like it is 3 sizes too small and stretched across her hips and midsection, and they have her lounge outside the news desk. Then later, behind the desk she is sitting too high, so we still see the single giant button straining across her midsection, highlighting the massive black hourglass of her form... The whole time (all of maybe 4 minutes) I was watching, my gaze moved in stunned horror back and forth from this disastrous jacket to... her face.

Oh Katie, so formerly cute and perky, could you not have aged gracefully? I don't know if it is surgery or makeup or both, but your eyes seemed sunken in their sockets, your flesh stretched across bones like some hideous, flesh-toned Skeletor. Your smile a grimace, your eyebrows immobile.

Your mouth moved, yet I could not hear the words. The fluffy content of your newscast (huh? Was that Morgan Sperlock? Wait...) went unheard as I gaped silently in horror. Who let you get in front of a camera in that outfit? Who put all that crap on your face?

Sad.

Rain in the car and out

Driving to work today in the pouring rain, I was listening to (as usual) NPR Morning Edition. As this story about the good samaritan on China's Suicide Bridge unfolded, I felt myself getting choked up, and before long my eyes were tearing up. Just great: poor visibility from the rain, and from my contacts floating away.

I guess that's what NPR news is all about though, huh? How do they find these stories!?

Ever have that feeling...

... the day after you were up almost all night? Not hung-over (only had a couple of drinks) but fatigued, and feeling a little chilled. Everything seems a bit surreal (the grocery store definitely felt that way earlier today).

Anyway, that's how I'm feeling right now. I may have to put a sweatshirt on or something. Last night with L. was fun, though I was embarassed at how messy my place was when he came over I really wasn't planning on having him in. Really! Anyway we had a nice time I think, and I tried not to think of R. too much. At least L. likes to kiss, and is pretty good at it. He left at around 9:30 this morning. Now I'm just kind of knocking around the place, having late coffee and dreading tomorrow.

Suddenly

I have a date tonight.

And it's not with R. It's with one of those other perfectly nice (cute, asian) guys. We're gonna head to 1223 (?). It used to be the Lizard Lounge, a special holiday gay-night event only on Sundays before a Monday holiday. I had offered coffee tomorrow but he asked if I would go out tonight for a real drink. I was ambivalent because these things are always a huge loud mob scene. But then I saw that the guest DJ downstairs is none other than Hex Hector.

HH has done some great remixes of Whitney Houston, *N Sync, Deborah Cox... I reluctantly admitted my boyband/Diva thing to my date, and he told me that he also liked all of the above. Hm.

Well, we'll see. Now I need to go try to clean myself up. I'd rather just curl up under the comforter with R and watch Star Trek, but that's a dead end. And it's not like he's inviting me over tonight either.

Oops

While paging through (ahem) gay.com, I accidentally clicked on this link.

And yes, half the reason I go to this site now is to see if R. is there. Never seen him yet, but maybe he doesn't need to go here. Lexapro sure seems to be working for him, he's more self-confident than ever.

Ouch

Normally I detest the comic Prickly City; it has a conservative bent and frequently mocks liberals and democrats. Today, however, an (unusual) apolitical one kind of hit home.

Up Since 5

Would be nice if I actually did something useful with this time. I did finally catch up on Blade last night. I wish they'd explain more about Shen's backstory. This morning, some Avatar and coffee...

I'm so glad that we have an extra day this weekend; I've still got several things to get done... some easier than others.

Today's spin playlist.

Boys of Summer/Don Henley
Move Along/The All-American Rejects
Everytime We Touch (Radio Mix)/Cascada
Sexyback/Justin Timberlake
Yeah!/Usher
Listen To Your Heart (Hardbounze Single Edit)/D.H.T.
Slow/Kylie
We're All Alone/Newton
I'm a Slave 4 U/Britney Spears
Easy as Life (Mixshow Edit)/Deborah Cox
Every Time We Touch (Yanou's Candlelight Mix)/Cascada

I thought it made a good end-of-summer lineup, with the original Boys of Summer to start off with for warmup. And of course I love putting Justin and Britney together... feel the tension! Finally, yes I know I have Every Time We Touch on there twice. The first one is the up-tempo version, teh last, for cool-down, is the slow ballad version. In music terms, it's what we call a Reprise.

Everything is available on iTunes.

Bored

This is a diagram of power outages in Virginia I took a shot of this morning. It was a lot worse last night, lots of red. Fortunately I didn't lose power; I spent most of the evening in bed watching the five fan-favorite Stargate SG-1's.

Class went well this morning; maybe I'll post the mix list in a little bit. I don't feel up to it right now. I kind of feel like I'm adrift, personally, professionally, in every aspect of my life. I'm glad to be out of my old job, but I'm not very happy with this one either. I guess I'm just plain not very happy. I can fantasize about R. all I want, but practically, even if he was interested, I don't think it would ever work out in the long term. I don't exactly have the greatest relationship track record myself. And even as I pine away over R., there are two perfectly nice guys who want to actually date me, but I just don't seem to be able to take the initiative to call them back and actually set something up. It just seems like so much work.

Well, I'm gonna make some more coffee and try to do some writing.

Ernesto Bearing Down

Tropical Depression Ernesto ('depression,' how appropriate!) is upon us, with wind and rain (though not so much rain yet, maybe that gets heavier later). Got my errands done for the most part. Was thinking of a gym visit, but I think I'll skip it today.

Not feeling too much of the post-R. depression, though going back through the old diary last night did provide some sobering perspective.

Ohh, as I type, I'm looking out the window and the rain is getting heavier! The wind-driven rain from tropical storms alwas seems different than regular rain somehow.

Weather

Now this is more like it! I am done with the humid upper 90's crap. And I love the rain and wind.

Long--but good--day

Up at 5 as usual on Thursday. Class went ok. Got home, did quite a bit of stuff around the house: cleaning, laundry, recycling, got a package ready for mailing. Even got some writing done.

Lo and behold R. called around noon, said he'd been called into the office for a meeting and was just heading home; did I want to come over and "Watch Movies." What do you think I said?

So, had a great afternoon snuggling on the sofa under a comforter and watching Star Trek First Contact and Voyager on his new flatscreen while I massaged his shoulders and played with his flat stomach. That boy's abs are better than ever. More fun was had after Star Trek... Sigh.

Of course, I'm such a hopeless romantic that I enjoyed him lying half on top of me with his head on my chest and me just holding him or running my hand over his buzzed hair. In a way I liked that as much as the... sex. (Hm, this really should probably go in the secret diary).

I probably had a stupid grin on my face all through evening spin class, which was nearly full! Thursday nights is never that full. Well I hope my post-fun glow translated into good energy and they will all be back next Thursday.

Just finished my sushi and Sapporo from Whole Foods, and probably headed to bed soon. Tomorrow will be a day of errands and hopefully more writing.

Another Day

It's 72° F, drizzly. This is more like it! Fall, my favorite season (though I also get depressed more in the fall) is finally on its way.

Not so bad today, but a little stressful, just worried about 'not f*cking up.' (Yesterday was a blow to my self-confidence). I spent the day at the Seventh Day Adventist World Headquarters, cleaning up the mess that was the fonts in their design department. I looked them up on Wikipedia while waiting for a process; they sound almost as conservative as the Mormons (gay: bad! masturbation: bad!). But while I was doing something else a couple of the women were talking (and I think they were both 'members') and one was talking about how she loved Sex and the City and the other was saying how she had watched Brokeback Mountain on a flight recently and cried. Her friend kind of laughed then said that a male friend of hers had also cried watching it. The first woman asked casually "Is he gay?" (apparently not, but sensitive) but that all seemed a little liberal for what this church was described as.

I diplomatically kept my mouth shut during that conversation, afraid that my visitor badge would start glowing pink if I said anything.

A few words from the (ex) Mormon

Shitty day over. Long IM with, yes, you guessed it, R. I was asking him about his fabulous sleep number bed, because I really need a new mattress/box spring. I said something about my bed (I'm Raimundo on the right, he is on the left.) Sigh.

We got into a talk about Meyers-briggs and he looked for awhile then called me.

He dodged about which one he was, and said he took a 4 hour one once. I read some of the ESTP to him and he agreed on every count. Then we talked about this weekend. He wants me to come over Thursday or Friday (since we are off those days).

What a shitty day

Today was going well till the traffic jam on the Key Bridge, so I was late to my appt.

Then the morning was okay, the installation was going just fine... setting up a new Mac, until the Mac crashed... and crashed bad. Spent the rest of the day trying to bring it back to life with no success.

Then the client started to freak out. Then she broke down. Just what I need! Women crying!

Ugh. I called the boss and made him deal with her.

Shameless Lyrics

Everytime We Touch, Cascada

I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me
I still feel your touch in my dreams
Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why
Without you it's hard to survive

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast,
I want this to last
need you by my side

'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static
And everytime we kiss I reach for the sky
Can't you hear my heart beat slow
I can't let you go
want you in my life

And probably more what I should be thinking...

Easy as Life, Deborah Cox.

All I have to do
Is forget how much I love him
All I have to do
Is put my longing to one side
Tell myself that love’s an ever changing situation
Passion would have cooled, and all the magic would have died
It’s easy as life

I try to forget how much I want him here
let my tears slowly disappear
I cannot forget that my emotions die
Oh I don’t even want to try
Nothing in life is ever easy
Nothing in love will ever run true
My heart will never stop believing
I still believe in what love can do

All I have to do
Is pretend I never knew you
On those very rare occasions
When you steal into my heart
Better to have lost you
When the ties were barely binding
Better the contempt
Of the familiar cannot stop
It’s easy as life

It hurts to think about you
When I want to touch you
And how we would have been
If you were here with me today
Those very rare occasions
They keep on coming
All I ever wanted
I’m throwing it away

Mario Lopez in the Shower on Nip/Tuck

Not office friendly. But HOT. Mario still looks amazing. What an ass.

Analysis

My old friend Chomiji was wondering what Meyers-Briggs personality type R. probably was. It didn't take me long to find him: ESTP. He fits it exactly.

I'm rich!

My blog is worth $21,452.52.
How much is your blog worth?

Feelin Better

It's 4 pm now, I got out of the house, had a good workout (ellipse machine next to a hottie, though his gf kept coming over and bothering us). I had loaded the faster version of Every time We Touch and the new Justin song on my iPod so now they are slugging it out in my head.

Oh, and R. called. As always it was a decent chat and he said something about me coming over next weekend. God, will I never learn? I guess I think that eventually I am going to wear him down and he will succumb to my charms and we'll get hitched and live happily ever after. I mean, he didn't give away his relationship books to any of his other little 'buddies'... And who else is gonna talk the nerd Voyager talk with him?

Ok need to do laundry.

Update: 8:00 pm. Another Farscape, (you know, Browder is packin!!) 3 eps of Xiaolin Showdown (did I mention I was behind? And Omi still reminds me of R.) and another ep of Blade (Shen is so butch and sexy).

It's noon

A couple eps of Farscape and Avatar later. Made some breakfast, had a few cups of coffee. I really need to go to the store, and a workout would do me good. Maybe in another hour or so.

I feel... I don't know what I feel. I'm actually having chills every once in awhile. I feel... lost.

Then of course I had to stumble on this too-cute clip of the boys from Desperate Housewives...

What I did on my (4-day) weekend

Thursday: very productive! Taught 2 classes, met with my friend over breakfast, ran errands and got some work done.

Friday: Started out ok, but stressing about R. and the weekend. Went out for happy hour with Steven and Robert, and drank way, way too much. Trip home not pretty.

Saturday: Still not pretty but got through class. Rested a bit and managed to round up a ride to the pool party. R. called while I was at class to say he was going sailing, but might stop by the party later. Argh. Went to party, met some nice people, talked to one kinda cute guy for a long time and he gave me his phone number. Found out some things about R. that I suspected but didn't know for sure till then. Spent some time quietly freaking out. Only had a couple drinks, got ride home and went to bed at reasonable hour--after talking with R. on the phone. Really need to face up to the fact that nothing is going to change with him.

Sunday: Had gotten a sub for class so just taking it easy. Need to go to the Apple Store to check on something for work, and maybe do a workout at the gym later. Really feel like crawling back into bed though. In fact, think I will for awhile. Just bummed about R.

A site made for me

With thanks to Thom, my new favorite site!

Wow, here's another one.

Obsession

This morning from about 4 to 6 am I wandered in that half-awake state again, though mostly asleep and dreaming about R. and this pool event tomorrow. To go or not go? I guess I'll suck it up and try to talk to him about it today. Sigh.

Oh, and my bod is killing me after subbing a 'Club Strength' class Wednesday night, followed by 2 spin classes yesterday. Ouch.

Well, I've had my raisin bran, I've got my coffee, now I need to pull myself together and get some work done today. Though what I really want to do is crawl back into bed, pull down the shade and watch the hours of TV stored on the TiVo. The ep of Blade I started on last night had Shen in a wifebeater--he's got a nice bod!

Maybe some more coffee...

Survivor: Race vs. Race

Look at the cute picture Larry sent me! Isn't he sweet? Well the kid is kind of goofy looking but what a hot little body he has on him. Pecs and abs you could eat off of. Or just... well, never mind.

On a not-completely-unrelated front, I suppose everyone has heard: in an attempt to fight a ratings falloff, the new Survivor is (as I understand it) going to pit race against race. I'm not sure what I think about this (beyond it being a cheap ratings stunt).

Let's see, who do you think I'll be rooting for? Cute, gay (he must be gay, read his bio; hell just look at him) Brad the Fashion Director? or Yul, the hunky (and also single) South Korean dude.

Well you knew it would be the Asians I would root for, didn't you? (Hell, the only people I really care about on Lost are Sun and Jin). And actually, I haven't watched Survivor since the first one (and I couldn't take much of that). Like most reality tv, I find it boring and annoying, and the people tend not to be the best examples of civilized humanity.

It's the Waiting...

...I hate.

I'm sure I mentioned this before, but I'm always pretty much useless for at least an hour before a class. I can't concentrate, I wander around aimlessly trying to do this or that. You'd think after 2 years it would get to be routine. But no.

I'm already stressed enough about R.

Pluto gets the boot

We're down to eight planets, at least for the moment.

What I find kind of amusing about all this hubub is that we're not really discovering anything new and exciting, we're just arguing about what to call things. It seems so egocentric somehow. And, I don't know why they are going to now call Pluto and some of the other guys floating around out there 'dwarf planets' when there is a much cooler term that I remember from Lost in Space: Planetoid. Of course the science in LiS was shoddy at best. They would use the term 'galaxy' instead of 'solar system,' probably because it just sounded better. There was never even an attempt to explain the Jupiter 2's space drive, which got them from system to system in a matter of days. Even the interior of the ship didn't conform to normal laws of space (rather like the Tardis).

But I digress. What I really want to know is if they are going to adopt the nicknames of "2003 UB313" (a body slightly larger than Pluto) and her little moon as the official names: Xena and Gabrielle. That would truly rock.

A Cautionary Tale

At my former place of employment we had maybe 20 full-time people. 4-5 were the 'executives': Directors of this or that, the Branch Manager, and Sales people, all who wore at least a nice shirt and tie. I was a 'Manager' and I wore jeans and a t-shirt (I was always trouble). I was the only department manager in all of DC for a long time; a few months before I left suddenly there were three more. Next down were department supervisors, then associates (grunts), then the lowest of the low, the contract bike couriers.

I explain all this to set up the hygiene irony I discovered there. Since there were basically two bathrooms that the male staff shared, often more than one person would be in there at a time. I happened to notice that without fail, all of the bike couriers washed their hands after using the bathroom. The one person who consistently did not wash his hands? The IT director. This is a guy who, married with kids, you'd think would have better habits. And grossest of all, this was the guy who was often putting his grubby hands on other peoples' keyboards. Think about it.

Fortunately, he kept his nasty hands off the Macs.

Aztecs butchered, ate Spanish invaders

Ooooh! kewl!

Websites as graphs

Courtesy of the Rebel Prince, here is a cool applet that graphs any website out. I did my little site, Eidolon Studio. Part of the coolness, however, is how it unfolds as it forms, like a flower opening.

Limbo

This morning, the sky still dark
I lay on my bed, neither awake nor asleep
floating down a river between those shores
drifting towards one, then the other.

One side was grey and bleak,
dreadful with impending dawn;
the other bright and beckoning
just beyond reach.

I was between two worlds
till the current of time caught me up

Twin Peaks Redux

I was watching my Twin Peaks VCR tapes over the weekend, and man, for 'professional' VCR recordings, they suck. The color is awful and red-saturated. Ok yes they are a bit old, and probably recorded at lower quality, but some of my home-recorded stuff from the 80's looks better than this.

But the show still rocks and the music (playing now on iTunes) is so amazing.

Pausing The Panic

This article in the Washington Post talks about DVR owners' viewing habits. One of the most fascinating things to me was this statistic:

It also turns out that DVRs are not killing live viewing or shuffling the weekly prime-time schedule, at least not yet. From Sunday to Friday, 84 percent of all prime-time television viewing in DVR households is live, according to Nielsen Media Research. According to the same data, 61 percent of all prime-time programming recorded by DVRs is watched on the same days it airs.

I am obviously in the remaining 16% because I never watch anything live anymore. Okay, Sunday when I was incredibly bored I did watch a few eps of X-play sort-of live. But I would pause, get up, get the laundry, check email, get something to drink, then come back so I could zip through commercials. Hour shows like Stargate and Blade I would never watch live. Even for the most hotly anticipated shows I wait 15-20 minutes after the show starts so I can get through the commercials.

Ad people would hate me.

Interesting Astronomy news

Watching giant galactic clusters collide, scientists are now pretty sure that dark matter exists. Of course they don't know what it is, they can't see it.

And, the debate about whether pluto is a planet rages.

Shatner Roast

I was going to post about this, but I was too busy feeling sorry for myself and Gene beat me to it. But I'm going to post a modified version of my comment here.

Sunday night on Comedy Central was a heavily advertised roast of William Shatner. I tuned in for a little while and was wondering who the hell those people roasting him were. I did recognize Andy Dick, who I find to be a completely loathesome reptile.

Shat's problem is that he alienated most of the rest of the Star Trek cast; and Bones and Scotty are of course dead. I was surprised to see George Takei there because I'd heard that he absolutely refused to speak to Shatner (I guess money talks). Nichelle Nichols was the only other STTOS rep there, though Leonard Nimoy phoned in a hello.

I found it unfunny. Some guy asked Shatner if that was a tribble on his head; that is the oldest Shatner toupee joke in the book! Come on. What most repulsed me during the short period I watched was that it seemed to be less of a roast of Shatner than a string of Takei gay jokes, at his expense. I turned it off and went to my backlog of TiVoe'd shows.

Four Gay Horsemen

After VUBOQ informed me that everything was my fault: war, famine, pestilence (and I agreed), I said that there should be the "Four Gay Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

We came up with these:

Bitchiness
Bad Hair Day
Old Age (or "Troll")
Drag Queen

Can't you just see them riding up, striking terror into gay men everywhere? Each would have his own terrible powers... Ideas?

Clawing out of the pit

Feeling a little better today. I went to bed almost as soon as I got home, and watched tv till 9 or so (a couple eps of Xiaolin Showdown and one of Avatar, and a Colbert Report) and went to sleep. Woke up feeling okay, but already starting to dread this party this weekend and the whole internal drama surround it and me and R. I'll spare you the details for now. The best thing would be for me to not go if he goes, but he's being dodgy, which in itself is suspicious.

Work is still very much up in the air. Things are slow at the new place, which is a little scary. I'm meeting my friend for breakfast later this week to talk about our possible business plan. It's almost September, and we really should hammer out some hard details about it.

A great exchange from one of my favorite movies, Ordinary People:

Dr. Berger (Judd Hirsch): So what are you thinking now?
Conrad "Con" Jarrett (Timothy Hutton): That I jack off a lot.
Dr. Berger: So what else is new? Does it help?
Conrad "Con" Jarrett: For a minute.

Still Here

Thanks for the comments and emails guys. Sorry to be such a downer, but the last few days were rough. I don't know why I insist on punishing myself sometimes....

Ah well, new week!

Mental illnesses suck

Beyond having one, (in my case, clinical depression) of course.

People still don't know how to deal with you. And an amazing number of people have very little understanding of what mental illnesses are, what causes them, and how we deal with them. For instance, my depression is most likely because the serotonin in my brain doesn't get reabsorbed properly, which results in a depression. Hello, our mental states are all caused by chemicals! Thats why drugs are so fun! So some of us walk through life happier than others, and some of us spend most of our lives wondering whether it's really worth living. (Yes I ask myself that quite frequently, and the jury remains out. It was not out for my grandmother, who killed herself. Depression is indeed inherited).

And yes I tried drugs, the only effective one--Zoloft--made me fat, and even more despondent about that.

So while some of you are asking yourself what to wear today, I am sometimes asking myself if this is all really worth it. I have checked out the nearby hotels (the Rosslyn Holiday Inn is over 14 stories high, so a jump from one of the top floors is pretty much a guarantee), and looked into other ways (apparently you can actually over-hydrate yourself to death, an interesting idea, and probably painless. Just drink so much water that the salt content in you blood drops so low that it is fatal. Perfect!)

And with that happy note, I think I'm headed to bed. And maybe a big glass of water. Or 12...

Sad

I try not to quote song lyrics too much, it seems lame, but once again I want to quote the lyrics from the old Brit hymn "I vow to thee my country" partly because I love the music so much, partly because it is in the opening scenes of my favorite movie, Another Country, and partly because the words say something to me, and I'm not even sure what. You can get a beautiful version on itunes, sung by Charlotte Church.

I vow to thee, my country—all earthly things above—
Entire and whole and perfect, the service of my love;
The love that asks no question, the love that stands the test,
That lays upon the altar the dearest and the best;
The love that never falters, the love that pays the price,
The love that makes undaunted the final sacrifice.

And there’s another country, I’ve heard of long ago—
Most dear to them that love her, most great to them that know;
We may not count her armies, we may not see her King;
Her fortress is a faithful heart, her pride is suffering;
And soul by soul and silently her shining bounds increase,
And her ways are ways of gentleness, and all her paths are peace.

And there’s another country, I’ve heard of long ago—
Most dear to them that love her, most great to them that know...

Where is that country? I feel like I am still seeking that country, where there is the the love that asks no question...

Argh

Just finished IMing with R., there's another one of those parties coming up. I don't know what I want to do about it...

He said he was feelign tired and maybe he had mono, and I said "who would you have gotten that from?"

He said "YOU" (yes, in all-caps)

And I said "Funny, I don't remember kissing you anytime recently." (He doesn't like to kiss, so he says.)

*Silence*

He's so weird.

Gay/Not Gay

Okay this is a totally shallow, self-serving post (um, what else is new, you ask?). Anyway, I just saw Eli Pariser, executive director of moveon.org, on the Colbert Report (see pics). He's cute! And young! And... he pings my gaydar, just a little. You know who else does who was recently on the Colbert Report? Cute little Markos Moulitsas Zúniga of the Daily Kos. I'm just sayin....

Power Rangers

I made the mistake of turning on the TV before class, and what was on but Power Rangers: Ninja Storm What a handsome cast! Samoan Pua Magasiva, plus Jorgito Vargas Jr. and Jason Chan (who plays the nerdy computer guy and his hip holographic alter-ego) are all little hotties. Oh and there are some white guys and a chick too. And a Guinea pig. It's more corny than I even remembered Power Rangers being. But I'm not going to get hooked on another kiddie show. Nope!

Sunday Morning Coffee

Bleah. I feel like crap. Physically okay (though a bit sluggish) but emotionally a complete wreck. There's one reason for that. I'm not sure what I can do about it either, really. R. is in control of this relationship, and we both know it.

I'd like to get some work done, but I have a feeling I'm going to end up spending this time before class just moping around.

Twin Peaks

Through the darkness of future past
the magician longs to see
one chants out between two worlds
'Fire walk with me.'

Sorry, I'm bored and trying to distract myself. You know there is still a ton of stuff about Twin Peaks on the web?

Thanks Mac!

I love it! This airline is threatening to sue the government over their new security measures.

US Airlines--it's your bottom line, grow a spine and do the same: stop catering to the terrorists.

SG-1: 200

Last Night 200th episode of Stargate SG-1 was a hoot! From the Wizard of Oz parody to the Dr. in Wormhole X-treme! talking about the fan website to bring him back and how the lead character had basically 'phoned-in' his performance in Season Eight, all great self parody. But the most hilarious few seconds was the Farscape Parody! Teal'c as D'Argo, Sam as Chiana, Daniel Jackson as Crichton, Browder as the guy with the iron mask... and Thor as the little hovering Dominar, all speaking in gibberish! Fun all around.

UPDATE: I watched it again, and I'd forgotten about the hilarous vignette where they are all puppets! (well marionettes) and the Star Trek one where Teal'c has his shirt open to the waist and Browder does a passable Kirk.

IKEA and R.

So we went to IKEA today. I'd forgotten that shopping with R. was like running a race--and he loves to push a shopping cart-- though he eventually slowed down once we hit stroller traffic jams. And there are worse things than following him around with his perfect round little bicyclist butt...

Anyway, we picked up a few things, chatted. I had fun and only got moony a couple of times. Okay, three counting now.

More at the Secret Diary, email me for access.

Oh Laura

It's 8 pm and I'm home alone, despite having a date and R. calling to see if I want to come over for a movie. For the details I'm afraid you'll have to go to my Secret Diary (ah, not Laura's but mine; you have to ask Agent Cooper for the key by emailing here, otherwise it wouldn't be very secret). Sorry it will have some sensitive (and insensitive) stuff.

I want to be a real boy

Poor Haley, another child star growing up and in trouble. I have to say that when I first heard about the accident (after I learned he was ok) that I was shocked that this guy, who you would hope had made decent money on all these movies, was driviing an 11 year-old Saturn? Anyway, I don't remember him as much from Sixth Sense as from A.I. the beautiful, sad, underrated flick by Spielberg and Kubrick. Few people understood the ending. I cry every time I watch it. And I was (peripherally) involved in the internet promotion for the movie, which was named best web site of the year by Entertainment Weekly magazine. There were these secret codes in the ads and online.

'Sixth Sense' Star Haley Joel Osment Charged With Drunk Driving
From a Times Staff Writer
August 18, 2006

Haley Joel Osment, the 18-year-old actor injured in a car crash in La Cañada Flintridge last month, has been charged with misdemeanor drunk driving, authorities said Thursday.

Osment, whose haunting performance in "The Sixth Sense" as a boy who communicates with the dead earned an Oscar nomination, is scheduled to be arraigned Sept. 19 in Superior Court in Glendale, the Los Angeles County district attorney's office announced.

If convicted, Osment could be sentenced to six months in jail.

Osment lost control of his 1995 Saturn in La Cañada about 1 a.m. July 20. The vehicle flipped over, and Osment suffered a broken rib and a shoulder injury.

He is expected to voluntarily surrender, the district attorney's office said. It will seek to have bail set at $15,000.

Osment was charged with driving under the influence; driving while having a 0.08% or higher blood-alcohol content, with the special allegation of having a 0.15% or higher blood-alcohol content; and possession of marijuana while driving, said Deputy Dist. Atty. Ed Green, in charge of the Glendale office.

In addition, Osment was charged with driving with a 0.05% blood-alcohol content while being younger than 21, Green said in a statement.

Xiaolin Showdown - Season One DVD

Well this is much better! (See DVD Disappointment below). The Xiaolin Showdown - Season One DVD comes right up with a nice easy menu and no unwanted promos. (The promos are called 'Bonus Features' and are on the second disc; a bit disingenuous in the naming, but at least they aren't forced on you.)

I've only played it on my laptop so far, but the picture quality looks good, and the sound is great (I was using headphones). One funny thing that struck me--and I'm sure it's my imagination--but at one point Dojo (the miniature dragon voiced by Wayne Knight) looks strangely like one of the little dinosaurs in Jurassic Park who kills Wayne Knight's character Nedry...

Aww!

Another example of why some people--and dolphins--should not wear speedos! Here I am with Scrappy, in my more apppropriate board shorts.

Brookfield crew rescues dolphin trapped in Speedo

By William Mullen
Tribune staff reporter

August 17, 2006

A lucky adolescent male bottlenose dolphin is back to living nude and free in Florida's Sarasota Bay after making a potentially fatal wardrobe choice early this summer.

The 10-year-old dolphin, known as Scrappy, probably owes its life to a Brookfield Zoo marine mammal research team that works year round in the bay.

The drama began July 6, when a member of the team working in the bay spotted Scrappy unaccountably and uncomfortably swimming around while wearing a black, Speedo-brand man's bikini swimsuit.

"He must have found the swimsuit floating in the water," said Randall Wells, a population biologist who runs the Sarasota Dolphin Research Program for the Chicago Zoological Society, Brookfield Zoo's parent organization.

"Somehow he got his head and torso through the waist and one of the leg holes of the suit, and it was hugging him right where his pectoral fins and body meet."

The project team, which has been tracking and observing 150 resident dolphins in the bay for the last 36 years, began looking for Scrappy every day. They feared the tight-fitting, non-rotting synthetic cloth suit could injure or kill the dolphin as "drag" force from swimming pushed it into the soft skin in front of the pectoral fins.

"Eventually it could cut deeply enough to sever arteries, causing him to bleed," Wells said.

When the swimsuit was still stubbornly clinging to Scrappy after three weeks, the team got an emergency rescue authorization from federal officials who monitor its work in the bay.

Scrappy's capture turned into an all-day ordeal for the depantsing team Wells organized Aug. 3. Five fast boats carrying 31 people raced across the bay after the animal, trying to surround it with a net.

In one close call, the net got caught in a boat propeller, allowing the dolphin to swim away. In a second encounter, Scrappy adroitly evaded the net by leaping over it. Late in the day they were able to bring the dolphin aboard a boat.

The suit had made cuts a half-inch deep and three-quarters of an inch long in front of each fin. Scrappy was visibly underweight and also had a fresh, visible but non-serious shark bite, both conditions probably caused by a hampered ability to swim because of the suit.

"We had been prepared to take him ashore to our veterinary hospital," said Wells, whose team works out of Sarasota's Mote Marine Laboratory research facility. "But that is the last thing we wanted to do. We don't like to have our dolphins becoming familiar with humans, which can happen during extended veterinary care.

"We felt his injuries weren't that serious, so after we removed the swimsuit, we cleaned the wounds and gave him a strong antibiotic. Then we attached a small radio tag to one of his fins and, after about half an hour, we let him go."

With the radio tag, his team can locate the animal easily every day, Wells said, and Scrappy, who as an immature male still lives mostly by himself, has shown no ill effects from his wardrobe experiment.

"One of the comedians on our team said the lesson in all this is that Speedos can be a threat to more than just good taste," Wells said.

"I suppose the real lesson for humans is that, if you bring something to the beach or on your boat, take it home with you. Anything you leave behind could have dire consequences for wildlife."

Random Fun 'Angel' Quote

Cordelia: [possessed by a demon and magically battling Willow (at left), who's visiting to try to help put Angel's soul back] You wanna go, Glinda? We'll *go.*

Back to work

I'm well on the way to being thoroughly caffeinated, and about to settle in to a few hours of good writing. I just need to stay away from the temptations of the evil internet (oops, too late).

Classes were okay today, though only one person showed up for abs class, which is disappointing because my attendance had been pretty good. On the plus side, my one student was a pretty hot young guy (usually it's all women). I noticed that as the class went on, I had unconsciously lowered the pitch of my voice and had taken on a more 'commanding' tone. Butching it up, I guess?

Anyway afterward he thanked me and said it was a 'great class.' Cool!

My Senator

I've always loathed George Allen, the conservative repub junior senator from my fair state of Virginia. (on the other hand, though he is also a republican, I have a grudging respect for our senior senator, John 'formerly married to Liz Taylor' Warner). I disliked Allen as governor too. I'm glad to see him getting a ton of bad publicity, even if it is just for a stupid comment.

But why doesn't this happen to Bush? Something stupid comes out of his mouth every time he opens it. I guess people have just come to accept it from Bush.

Wednesday is Friday

Today is Friday for me! I have to say these 3-day weeks are pretty sweet, though I can't go on like this indefinitely, and the plan is that I won't I'm supposed to go full-time in September, so just a few more 4-day weekends...

Tomorrow I really need to get some errands done. Spin class at 6:30, then I need to go to the bank and take the poor filthy car to the car wash. Then I have Shadow World work to do. Must have some self-discipline, no goofing off all day! Then another class Thursday night.

Then Friday morning, massage! I am looking forward to it. Yes it is a perfectly legitimate massage, though I do have to say that the guy I go to is a little hottie...

Then usual weekend stuff, though I would like to get out to IKEA at some point. And maybe hang out with R. Oh, I almost forgot, I have a 'date' Friday night. Nothing big, just meeting this nice-seeming Filipino guy (who it turns out, live less than a mile from me) for Pho soup.

A Book Meme

I'm doing this book meme because of VUBOQ but I actually saw it first on Chai and Sympathy

1. One book you have read more than once: The Lord of the Rings comes immediately to mind.

2. One book you would want on a desert island: A blank one. And a pen

3. One book that made you laugh: I have laughed several times while reading the Harry Potter books, sometimes in public.

4. One book that made you cry: None that I remember.

5. One book you wish you had written: The Lord of the Rings (I know I'm repeating myself)

6. One book you wish had never been written: The Bible

7. One book you are currently reading: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

8. One book you have been meaning to read: I've got a stack at home.

9. One Book That Changed Your Life: The Lord of the Rings cause it got me into gaming, and then a career in writing and...

10. Now tag five people: Umm...

Work

Here I am at a client's office, writing in the blog. Part of the job does tend to involve watching progress bars, and that can get dull. So I multitask when I can. I'd like to be doing some other work on this computer, but I'm salvaging files from a dying hard drive and don't want to monkey around with it.

I must say it is kind of interesting to go to these other places and meet people and see all the different offices. Dunno when that thril will wear off. And of course I get here, plug into their network, and surf while I work. Does that make me a bad person?

My week is more than half over! ;-)

DVD disappointment

I recently got season 8 of Stargate and the first chapter of Avatar, the Last Airbender from Amazon. Stargate started out fine, but about halfway through the second episode, the audio went just slightly out of sync with the video. I don't know if you have ever seen this but it is incredibly annoying to watch. It lasted through the whole remainder of the ep, and I of course I spent the whole time watching lips and hopng it would stop. I guess I'll be emailing Amazon and MGM.

Then I put in Avatar. Well, first there were like five chapters of really annoying ads for other Nick shows. At least I could jump past them after I found out I could not go directly to the main menu. This is that same feeling like when you go to the movies, you pay money, and you are forced to watch ads! At home now I have TiVo, so I can watch stuff for FREE, and no ads!

But worse, Avatar was pixellated. Everything was all jaggy. WTF? I would have expected a DVD to be higher quality than broadcast, but no, it was annoyingly poor digital transfer. The tv version looks better. So, I won't be buying any more Avatar DVDs. God I hope the third DVD I bouught, Xiaolin Showdown Season One looks better, it's a different network (the WB).

The Tell-tale Heart

Last night as I was lying in bed, I noticed that my heart was beating very hard. Babang... babang... babang... Not fast, in fact resting rate was in the 50's, but it seemed to be slamming in my chest. Was I dehydrated? (When you are dehydrated, you have lower blood volume and your heart works harder to get blood to all the cells.) No I had been drinking plenty of water all day. I seemed fine this morning, and led my usual class, no problems. If I was going to have a heart attack, you think it would be in the middle of a sprint out of the saddle after 40 minutes of hard climbing.

Now it seems to be doing it again. It's a little creepy.

The Return of Mysterious Asian Man

Remember several months ago when I talked about this gorgeous Asian man who I saw every Wednesday morning.

Well, today after class I noticed this Asian guy with a kind of scraggly short beard. It was a full beard, but very thin. He looked sort of familiar, but I couldn't place him. Then when he came back from the shower, neatly laid a towel on the floor then stood on it, bent down and began to methodically dry between his toes, I realized who it was. He looked older, his hair a little longer, and he had this awful facial hair. I think that Asian men, in general, should not have facial hair. Well maybe a little patch, or maybe a small moustache but that's it. This looked awful on him. He was still handsome despite it, but it sure didn't flatter him. And as I was leaving, there he was in front of the mirror brushing it. The rest of his body looked as awesome as ever at least...

Sigh.

Not to be morbid or disrespectful...

But whe I first heard about the Asian-american lawyer who was stabbed to death in a townhouse a scant few blocks from where I used to live in Dupont Circle, I wondered if 1) he was gay, and 2) if there was something else going on besides a random break-in tragedy. And I hoped that it wasn't someone I knew. That's kind of selfish, I guess.

Then I read that he was married, and just stayed there rather than drive home to VA late at night, so it seemed less likely that it was, well... scandalous, and just sad (and horrible for the poor guy). Now however, it is beginning to sound even more scandalous than I'd even imagined. The house is owned by a gay couple, one of whom he had known for years. And there is a third male resident, a tenant. He was stabbed, supposedly in a bedroom with a knife from the kitchen, and no sign of forced entry. One account said he had gone to bed, another said he was clothed. And the CSI people say the area was 'cleaned' before the police arrived, and one cop even said the residents said things he just didn't believe. And now everyone has stopped talking and they all got lawyers. Sounds like something else might have been going on; draw your own conclusions.

I feel badly though, he looked like a sweet guy; I'm sure he didn't do anything thet he could have deserved to die for.

My Life

One big irony, in three parts:

1. Wednesday nite, I was tired and went to sleep really early. R. called me not once but TWICE about some inane thing, and I was completely incoherent (I have no idea what he called about, something about Star Trek) but the point is he called me, and he said that he didn't 'do anything' last weekend. Well.

2. Last night I snuggled in bed all alone and quiet and no one called me.

3. Tonight I go out with Vuboq and Diablo and Tomoko and Vuboq's Mike. and have a decent time, and as I walk home, who calls but R., saying he wants me to see his new TV and his roomate is out (wink wink). Sadly with 2 margaritas and a couple beers in me and I am really tired, I say I don't feel like coming over (i.e., driving all the way down to alexandria).

Argh.

Well at least R. still likes me and wants me over to 'see his tv' some time so I am not a total loser.

Science reveals secrets of invisibility - Aug 9, 2006

Engage the Cloaking Device!

From the Daily Kos

I was going to blog about how I thought Joe Lieberman (who I never liked, by the way; I think he had some anti-gay stance) is being completely self-serving with his plans to run as an independent because he lost the Dem primary in Conn yesterday. I was going to say how this would just split the Dem vote and give a chance to the repub candidate to take the seat, when we actually have a chance to get the senate back. I was going to say that it's pretty obvious that all Joe cares about is himself and his politcal power. But, this article says it in a more entertaining way: Time to Get Behind Lieberman!

Mileage

The other day on NPR they were talking about how to get better mileage, and the interviewer asked the expert about air conditioning. The expert said that AC would probably cut a mile or two off your mileage per gallon, but it was still better than driving with the windows down. Apparently that so reduces the car's aerodynamics that it reduces your mileage even more. Interesting.

NO COFFEE!?!?

Gah!

At my new job, I work in a little office space shared between us five Mac consultants and three designers. The designers are always in first, and one of them always makes coffee. I have been forgoing my usual coffee at home lately because the coffee is yummy (unlike the undrinkable swill they made at my old job). Today I was in particular need and was looking forward to that fresh pot all through my drive in.

And. they hadn't made coffee yet!

As I type, I wait impatiently for the drip-drip-drip to end...

Here's a question

For my fellow gay and gay-friendly bloggers out there... Name your top three favorite gay-themed movies... or even movies with a prominent (and hopefully positively-portrayed) gay character.

Mine:

1. Another Country. Still my all-time favorite movie, possibly because I am such a hopeless anglophile... and it has Rupert Everett, Colin Firth, and Cary Elwes in it. Oh and the whole sequence where the flashback begins and the boys are singing 'I Vow to Thee My Country' is so haunting.

2. Maurice. It's so lush and Merchant-Ivory beautiful (even without Ruth Prawer Jhabvala, who I read refused to do the screenplay because of the subject matter), and sad, but wow I love Rupert Graves. And of course there was Simon Callow and Denholm Elliot (both gay actors). And now I am thinking back to Room With a View with the wonderful Judi Dench and Maggie Smith and of course Helena Bonham-Carter--I remember seeing that movie when it came out and I loved it while all my friends were so bored...) BUT I digress.

3. Latter Days (And yes, that was before meeting the Chinese-Mormon hottie R.). It's just a sweet movie. And it makes you want to believe in a happily ever-after, even though that's probably naive.

Stealing Memes

I stole this from The Love Lemming, who stole it from... well you get it.


1. How tall are you barefoot? 5 foot 10 and a half inches.
2. Have you ever been cheated on? Yes.
3. Do you own a gun? No.
4. If you had a mental disorder, what would it be? I have mental disorders. I've been diagonsed with clinical depression. I also think I have 2-3 personality disorders (Avoidant being the main one).
5. How many letters are in your crushes name? 5
6. What do you think of hot dogs? They're good with yellow mustard and onions.
7. What's your favorite Christmas song? Do You Hear What I Hear? (and I'm an Atheist).
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Bloody Marys Coffee and OJ.
9. Do you do push-ups? I do, but I don't like it.
10. Have you ever done ecstasy? Yes, 4-5 times back in the 90's. It was my favorite drug. They don't call it the 'hug drug' for nothing.
11. Do you have a boyfriend? *Sigh* No.
12. Do you like the rain? Yes, unless I'm getting soaked in it or driving in it.
13. Do you own a knife? Do kitchen knives and X-acto knives count?
14. What do you smell like? Right Guard Active Fresh deodorant (I hope).
15. Do you have A.D.D.? I feel like I do, but I didn't used to. I blame MTV and the internet.
16. Full initials? TKA.
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: 1. When will that Data Recovery program finish? 2. I want a margarita. 3. This laptop is getting awfully warm.
18. Name the last 3 things you have bought today.Today? Nothing. Yesterday, a tuna sandwich and chips, and paid for dry cleaning (ugh).
19. Name five drinks you regularly drink. Coffee, water, gatorade, beer (I've developed a thing for Sapporo), martinis.
20. What time did you wake up today? 3 AM, then 5 AM, then 5:30 AM, then 6:15 AM.
21.Can you spell? Yes.
22. Current worry? Do I want to change jobs (again)? When will I be in a car accident? What's going on with R.? WTF is up with my TiVo?
23. Current hate? Hate is a pretty strong word, though there are members of the Bush Cadre and people like Fred Phelps who I might actually 'hate.' People can make me angry though.
24. Favorite place to be? San Francisco, or London, or Florence, Italy. Or even Charlottesville.
25. Least favorite place to be? DC in the summer. Iraq.
26. Where would you want to go? See #24
27. Do you own slippers? Yes, and I sometimes wear them.
28. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? I dunno, dead?
29. Do you burn or tan? I get red then I usually turn tan.
30. Yellow or Blue? Blue
31. Would you give up your current life to be a pirate? Only as a fantasy first mate to the Dread Pirate Roberts (Cary Elwes) or 2nd mate to Captain Puffy Pants and his mate Shaun (long story).
32. Last time your cell rang? Saturday morning. It was R. Significantly, it did not ring Saturday night.
33. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't sing. Period.
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? My mother with the ping-pong paddle, but not at night.
35. What do you have in your pocket right now? Keys, USB flash drive.
36. Last thing that made you laugh? A genuine laugh? I think something on Xiaolin Showdown at about 3:30 this morning.
37. Favorite bed sheets as a child? I think they had rocket-ships on them.
38. Worst injury you've ever had? Broken collarbone from wrestling in P.E. in high school I guess, though I did wipe out on my motorcycle (current bio picture) and tear up my leg pretty good.
39. What is your GPA? High School was like 3.75, college 3.0.
40. How many TVs do you have in your house? Two: 20" in the bedroom, 50" flatscreen HD in the living room.
41. Who is your loudest friend? No one occurs to me.
42. Who is your most silent friend? See #41.
43. Does someone have a crush on you? Doubtful. If they did I doub't I'd realize it.
44. Do you wish on stars? No.
45. Do you believe in magic? No, but sometimes I wish I did.
46. What song represents how you feel at the moment? Easy As Life, by Deborah Cox (you'd have to read the lyrics).
47.What song did you last hear? Busy Child by Crystal Method.
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? No funeral. Harvest anything still useful for donation (but not for research) and burn the rest.
49. What were you doing 12AM last night? Having wierd dreams.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Which time? the first few it was 'Thank god it's still dark out, I can get some more sleep.'

Farscape

I was never able to keep up with this show... as cool as it was (and Ben Browder looked great in leather pants). I watch a random ep every once in awhile, like today, and am always amazed at the fabulous costumes and imaginative makeup. No wonder it was so expensive to produce.

Anyway it was a nice distraction for awhile, but I'm back to self-pity. I'm gonna have a Stoly martini and watch eps of Xiaolin Showdown I've got stored on the TiVo till my eyes bleed.

But before I go...

As much as I like Browder (and Claudia Black), I still really have issues with the Stargate SG-1 casting the last year. The Stargate shows have become the refuge for out of work SF show actors. Claudia isn't so bad because her look and attitude are so different but Browder as the swaggering Colonel isn't all that much different from Crichton. The one good thing that came out of it was when he and Daniel were next to each other and Vala made a crack about Earth's apparently limited gene pool (Browder and Michael Shanks look rather similar). We also have Lexa Doig (formerly the Andromeda AI) as the new medical doctor, Cigarette Smoking Man as an Ori prior (very bad casting), and on Atlantis, Deputy Director Skinner as a Colonel commanding the starship Daedelus, Chief O'Brien as some commander, and Chief Engineer Trip as a Wraith. It's only a matter of time before that guy who played a Voorta on DS9 and an Andorian on Enterprise shows up.

It's on Wikipedia, So It Must Be True

An article in Today's Washington Post about Stephen Colbert's little stunt on Wikipedia.

Colbert then urged viewers to take part in rewriting history and fact. To jibe environmental activists, Colbert told viewers to log on to Wikipedia and edit the entry on elephants to say that the African population of elephants had tripled in the past six months.

Naturally, enough people obeyed Colbert to crash Wikipedia's servers.

Wow, they crashed the servers! There's a lot more about how Wikipedia works here (which is interesting; it's always seemd a bit mysterious to me, though I'd heard about congressional staffers trying to use it to trash opponents, and Wiki locking out their IP addresses... which seems like it would be pretty ineffective.)

Fascinating stuff.

Agitate, Spin, Soak/Stew

I almost never look forward to teaching my spin classes, but I almost always feel better afterwards. This was true today, though I still feel less than great. I'm still really depressed about this thing that happened with R. this weekend, with him asking if I was going to this pool party/overnight thing out in Culpeper (see entry for Friday). Then when I said I couldn't go he said he wasn't going to stay overnight, and would call me when he got back last night. So he didn't call, and I still haven't heard from him. Hey, I'm not his keeper, so he can do anything he wants (and I'm sure he does; who knows what he got himself up to last night), but for some reason this just has sent me way down into depression (I've felt like I've been living on the brink of another full-blown depressive episode for several weeks now, this is just the kind of thing to send me over the edge); I'd rather have just not known anything about it. Sometimes I wish I'd never met him.

I need to get out of the house or I am just going to go back into the bedroom, get in bed and watch whatever is on TV; maybe I'll go to the Java Shack.

Ugh

Didn't sleep well last night, had dreams involving Omi, R., and the Yin Yang World. I can't even get into the situation with R. right now, but it's mostly in my head. I wish there was a Q-Tip to go in and clear out parts of my brain.

"The Timetable"

I'm pretty sure that very few people who read this blog care one whit, but with the volume of emails I got when Lance finally 'came out,' some people are a bit interested in the non-revelation. "The Timetable' refers to Lance's elaboration on who else in 'N Sync knew and when. Frankly I find this timetable about as believable as Lance being straght after I saw the video on VH-1 of him in high-school playing patty-cake with some (other) girl in his 'show-choir.' Yeah. And then they braided each others' hair. (Okay I made that up.)

Anyway, Lance says that Joey knew for awhile, Chris K. found out last summer, JC three months ago, and he never told Justin.

Okay. Years of touring together, living on a bus together (though later on I guess they all had their own buses) and you are going to tell me that JC only 'found out' that Lance was a fruitcake three months ago? Come on, they're not stupid. And Justin!?

I get the feeling that some people still have (or think they have) careers to protect. You hold on real tight to Cameron's hand, Justy!

Saturday Afternoon

Feeling nappish, but naps are always a bad idea. Yesterday afternoon a dozed on the sofa after watching a Stargate episode, then woke up at 6:11 pm and panicked because for some reason I thought it was Thursday and I was late to teach my spin class. I was already in the bedroom putting on shoes and socks when I realized that it was not Thursday after all, but Friday.

That's how groggy and disoriented I am after a nap.

Yum

Yum-yum Korean Yummity-yum.

That is all.

Oh, except that fortunately the follow-up episode of Xiaolin Showdown was on my TiVo this morning, so after Spin class I got to watch the Monks defeat Chase Young and his eeevil minions and get Omi (and Omi's dots) back! Feeling much better now, though could use some coffee...

I am so confused

R. and I talked the other day about some camping thing organised by this gay group that we both belong to, (and at an event where we actually met last december), long story, and by the end of the IM, I had the feeling that he was checking to see if I was going, making sure I was not going so he could go and be a slut with no worries. Not like I could stop him anyway. Then earlier today he asks if I can come over and help him move a tv and he is off to this event, and well if I can get a ride fine.

THEN just now he calls and says he is at the place to get his new tv and he is almost pleading with me to come over, and basically invited me to stay the night because his roomate is away! WTF!? That is TOTALLY unlike him. He NEVER wants me to stay over unless I ask and whine. And hearing his voice... we just won't talk about that.

Of course I just watched the Xiaolin Showdown where Omi converts to Evil, which is awful... it turns out that this was the very first episode of XS that I ever saw, and no wonder why I was kind of freaked out by it. Omi's head thing rotates and he is evil and he joins Chase Young, Jack Spicer is turned good because his Yang is lost in the Yin Yang World, and Kimiko is all freaky looking because she uses the Manchurian Musca and looks like a fly. Ugh! Everything is turned around in that one episode!

Now I desperately need to see Finding Omi to see how it all turns out!

Oh, and hang out with R. tonight. Whatever.

10 PM

Arlington VA 90° F
San Francisco, CA: 65°f
Zurich, Switzerland: 55°F (yes it its the middle of the night but the high tomorrow is 74°, Saturday 61° I'm good with that; better with SF. Someone take me in!)

It's here!

My new TiVo upgrade kit is here! And as usual when I'm about to tinker with the insides of my own computer equipment, I'm a little nervous. Which is ridiculous since I have a lot of experience swapping ahrd drives and such. But I don't want to jinx myself. Wish me luck!

UPDATE: It's ALIVE! ALIVE I SAY! Well, at least it seems to be alive. It booted up just fine, and the TiVo service *seemed* to accept my lifetime subscription again, and it's merrily downloading the schedule. I'll have to input all my season passes again (Blade, Stargates, Xiaolin Showdown, Avatar, Colbert Report...) but that's a small price to pay.

Enough about Lance

It's 99° outside... so let's talk hot! Let's talk about Justin Timberlake! Here's some shots from his new video. They are hot... and also kinda... gay. What's with the disco balls and the neckerchief?

And as an extra bonus, here's a very old, and very gay little video of Mister JRT.

Nine AM

And it's already 89° out. I feel bad for the UPS guy (who is scheduled to deliver my TiVo drive today, yay! It was really bad last night) who has to work in this heat.

Temp outside: 98°

Temp inside: 75° Me: lounging on the bed with salad and a Sapporo, watching Ina Garten making chicken pot pies and split pea soup while her (obviously) gay friend goes shopping for his 'house guest.' Coming up: new ep of Xiaolin Showdown.

New HD for TiVo scheduled to arrive Thursday.

Life could be worse. I am thankful.

Happy National Day

Happy National Day to my friend Andreas in Switzerland